Second-hand love

she watches the smoke lift
its carried away,
drifting away,
like her heart
floating farther from her
with each breath
he's drowning in the dirty air
unaware-
he's got to be everything.
with a cough,
he's choking on my unspoken
expectations,
but just mistakes it for
cigarette residue.
second-hand love.

[i am dirty,
used,
and broken.
but i am yours.]

The New Year

time to become something new
clean and reborn under the stars
you don't see them clearly,
but they illuminate my new,
blank canvas like a
pale morning sun.
we're clasping hands and
smashing eager, hungry lips together-
desperate for that closeness,
desperate to feel needed when
we both feel so inadequate these days.
you're thirsting to prove yourself,
I'm writhing in the prison of
my own skin.
but for a moment-
we are transformed.
complete in this mutal madness.
a lust that's carried us through the years.
lying dormant for days, weeks as
we fight with our own self-loathing,
growing, building, pushing
exploding
into a night of redemption.
your eyes on me- amazed, wanting-
reminds me who i am.
makes me something new.